To Love or Not To Love
by LiveLaughLove311
Summary: Izzie left, hoping to forget her life at the BAU. She started over in a new town, but what happens when her old team comes back into her life and her messed up,troubled childhood finally catches up with her? ON HIATUS!
1. Saying Goodbye

**To love or not to love**

**Chapter 1.…saying goodbye**

**Izzie's POV**

**A month. It had been one month since I, Isobel Monroe left the BAU and my life behind for a fresh start. Who knew a fresh start would have me working as a police officer in a Los Angeles station. I remembered the day I left, I told them it was for personal reasons**

_***Flashback***_

_**I entered agent Strauss's office as she was in a meeting with a man I had never seen before. "What do you want agent Monroe? I'm in a meeting." She had snapped. The man just stared at me.**_

"_**I just wanted to give you these," I handed Strauss my badge and gun. "And tell you, I'm officially quitting."**_

"_**And may I ask why agent Monroe?" she asked.**_

"_**Personal reasons ma'am." I held my breath, hoping Strauss would buy it.**_

"_**Very well. I will inform SSA Hotchner of this decision as soon as you clear your things out. Good bye Ms. Prentiss."**_

"_**Good bye ma'am." I felt her throat constrict. I loved this job and everyone I worked with. But I didn't want to do this anymore.**_

_**So I cleared my desk while everyone else was at a training session they had to do. Before I left, I laid a letter in Spencer Reid's desk and tucked a bundle into his desk drawer.**_

_***End flashback***_

**I felt guilty. I had done exactly what Gideon had done and left a note. I just wanted to forget. Forget everyone at the BAU. Especially ****him**. The reason I left. To start over so they couldn't find me, I had even bought a blonde wig and contacts to make my normally green eyes brown. I also took on my dead sister's name. Everyone I currently worked with knew me as Izzie, but they also knew my past and they understood why I would want to run from it. So, in front of anyone who could be connected to my past, they called me Mary Landon.

Spencer's POV

As soon as we got back from training I knew something was wrong. For one, Izzie never showed up to the training course. Two, Strauss was here, and three, Izzie's desk was cleared off. I immediately went to it and opened the drawers. Empty. 'This couldn't be! She wouldn't leave like this! Would she?' Everyone else watched with sad eyes as Hotch went to talk to Strauss. I walked over to my desk and found a letter. It was in Izzie's handwriting. I instantly knew it was only for me if the others didn't get a copy. So I opened it and began to read

Dear Spencer,

This note is for you and only you. Don't let anyone else read it. I'm not planning on coming back, so, here it goes. There is a reason I'm leaving, why I left. No matter what you think, there is a reason. But first, I have to tell you something. In your desk drawer, I left you letters. There is one for everyone except you since your reading yours. I want you to give them to everyone when you feel the time is right. Okay, to the point. When I joined the BAU I planned for a lot of things. I planned to have a life that consisted of work, work, and more work. I planned on making friends with all of you. I planned on helping make the streets safer. What I didn't plan on was falling in love. No, not with you Spence. I know how oblivious to these things you are, so you probably don't understand. Why can't I just tell him? Well, it isn't that easy. I didn't plan for it and I, I can't deal with it. The only people who know the whole truth are J.J. and Garcia. However, she doesn't know I'm leaving. I love you Spence. I do. You're like the brother I never had. But, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep going on like it doesn't bother me, cause it does. Oh and by the way, you can have all the dorky Sci-Fi movies we watched together. I know it isn't much of an apology, but it's the best I can do. I'm sorry Spencer. Please tell everyone that and make sure that someday, they get their letters. I really do love you all.

Love,

Izzie

I could feel the tears in my eyes. I immediately opened my desk drawer and sure enough, there were the letters. I stuffed them in my bag and wiped my tears. As I looked up, everyone was getting back and Hotch was coming down the stairs. "Everyone. Izzie has decided to quit. She didn't say why, or where she was going but she did quit."

I saw Emily start crying and Morgan looked mad. Rossi looked indifferent. He was good at hiding his emotions. I cried. I cried because I lost my sister. And it wouldn't be the same at the BAU without her.

Izzie's POV

It had been a month and now my co-worker Meghan Brizzoli had to call in the BAU team to help solve their latest case. 7 victims so far. All women, blue eyed, brown haired. All in their 30's and all brutally raped, beaten, tortured, and then shot execution style in the back of the head. And to top it all off, I was the one who had to go meet the team at the landing strip. Wonderful, just wonderful.


	2. Reunion?

Chapter 2.…Reunion?

Nobody's POV

Monday, 10:30am. Half and hour until Izzie had to meet the team on the airstrip. Half an hour to prepare for what she was hoping wouldn't happen.

J.J's POV

We were on our jet on our way to California. I was debriefing the team. "So far, there have been 7 victims. All had blue eyes, brown hair, and they have all been in their 30's. None have been married, or in any long term relationships. All were beaten, raped, tortured, and then shot in the back of the head. The lead detective is Megan Brizzoli but her partner is meeting us at the airway. Apparently, detective Brizzoli has another case she needs to work on right now. But you guys, this guy, he's horrible. We need to catch him. And fast." I looked around at the rest of our team. I saw their faces. The look of disgust. They were all reading intently. Emily had a horrified look on her face as she looked at the pictures. Reid looked miserable, and Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan, they looked indifferent. They were all pretty good at hiding their emotions.

I couldn't help it when my mind wandered to Izzie. My best friend. She had been there when Henry was born, because Will wasn't . She had helped look after him when I had to work later than her. She had been there. We had gone out on weekends. Now that was all gone. Because of one man. I wondered where she was and if she was okay. As the plane began to descend, I squeezed my eyes shut, and held back the tears.

Morgan's POV

J.J. briefed us on the profile. As soon as we were done I put it away. These creeps disgust me. I knew my facial expression was impassive, but on the inside I was hurt and angry. Izzie just up and left. She didn't even tell us why. Sure, Spencer had gotten a letter, but we weren't allowed to read it. I was angry at her and at the reasons why she left. Sometimes when I think about her, I think, there are some things that you just can't forget or forgive.

Emily's POV

Creepers. Disgusting creepers. Rapist, murders, stalkers. All disgusting. The part I hated most was reading the files. But most of the time, like now, I let my mind wander. Izzie was actually gone. One of my best friends. We went out a lot with J.J. and Garcia. We talked over unimportant things. We held our own against the guys when it was just us on a case. And now she's gone. And I don't even know why. I'm mad. One, at the rapist/murder. And two, at Izzie for leaving without reason.

Spencer's POV

I found myself thinking about Izzie. Again. I couldn't help it. How could she just leave? And over a guy? it's just confusing. I find, I'm actually mad at her. She left me, just like Gideon. And she told me, she is never coming back. Maybe someday, I'll forgive her.

Izzie's POV

I watched as the plane descended. I was getting extremely nervous. I sighed and fixed my wig. Hopefully, they could get through this case and they would all be on their way back to Quantico. I didn't like feeling the guilt I felt. Even though I'm younger, Spencer looked up to me. And I abandoned him, just like Gideon and his mom. I was pulled out of my thoughts as the plane landed. I once more situated my wig and watched the team file out of the plane. God, I had missed them so much. And that particular sexy team leader hadn't changed one bit. He was still Hotch. The team stopped in front of me. "Hello, I'm Mary Landon. How are ya?" I asked.

"We are fine thank you. I'm SSA Hotcherner. These are SSA Rossi, agents, Morgan, Prentiss, and Jurea. And this is Dr. Reid." Hotch answered.

"Aren't ya kinda young to be a doctor?" I asked. Keeping up with the charade. Everyone else smirked.

"Not statistically. But in one out of four-"

"Reid, enough." Hotch demanded. "And you seem pretty young yourself." Hotch pointed out.

I smiled. I loved when Reid did that. It was cute and Reid-like. It made me miss him even more. I nodded enthusiastically. "the youngest on the force. I'm 25. Graduated high school when I was 15, college when I was 19."

"Impressive. You know-" Reid was cut off by J.J.

"Shut up Reid," she turned to me. "And you, I swear I know you from somewhere. And something tells me your hiding something. What is it?"

"Damn it. This is what I get for working with profilers!" I mumbled to myself. They must have heard me.

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyways, there are your SUV's. I'll meet you at the precinct. Bye." I started walking to my car. I left behind some very confused profilers. I got in my car and pulled away. But I looked back and I saw J.J. crying. She must have figured it out. Damn, so much for in the wind and never going back.

J.J.'s POV

As she drove away I realized who she was. The way she talked and walked. 'Oh my goodness!' I thought to myself.

"Whoa. She acted a lot like Izzie." Morgan said.

"She is Izzie! OH MY GOODNESS!" I yelled. I started crying.

"Calm down J.J. we'll see her again at the station. You can talk to her then about why she left." Morgan said, I could see he was also battling emotions.

"I already know why!" I choked out my confession.

"WHAT? WHY?" Morgan screamed.

"I can't tell. I promised." I saw Spencer also get mad and stomp off towards the SUV's. And that was the end of that discussion.


	3. Explain Please

Chapter 3.…explain please?

*_To start, Im soooo sorry! Don't hurt me! Everything has been really crazy so I havent gotten to post! But here it is, and I might possibly get another chapter up tonight or tomorrow! I hope you forgive me!*_

_-_**Oh, I forgot this the last 2 chapters, Anyone you recognize isn't mine, I'm just using them to my amusement. If they were mine, J.J. would still be there and hotch and Emily would be together….but they arent..*sigh* ****L**

Izzie's POV

I was in my captains office trying to talk him into assigning me to another case. "Please Craig. I want another case. I need another case." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry Izzie but we're already short-handed and you're the best qualified for this case. Again, I'm sorry, but you'll have to work it."

I huffed. "Fine." I left the room and went straight to the bathroom. I took off the wig along the way and threw it away. Then I took out the colored contacts and threw them away with to. I figured, might as well get this the hell over with. I walked out into the bullpen. As I walked out of the bathroom, the BAU team walked in the doors. They saw me and Emily and J.J.'s faces lit up. I pretended nothing was wrong.

"Hi. Great to see you found the place. Your set-up is in here." I led them into a room that had a circle table, a whiteboard, and a cork board. "Well, here ya are. Holler if ya need anything." I was about to leave the room when Spencer started talking.

"Why? Hmm…I understand part of it. But why?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Spence. I couldn't stay anymore. Don't get me wrong, I loved the BAU and I miss it, but, life's tough. I'm sorry I only left a letter, I know you think I'm just like Gideon now, and I'm sorry. I know I said I wasn't like Gideon and that I wouldn't do anything like that, but it was just too hard Spence, and I thought telling you face to face would be harder than it needed to be. We can all talk about it some more later. But right now, you really need to get going on this case. I truly am sorry. No matter what you think, I have missed you and it's great to see you again." And with that, I walked out the door and to my desk.

No one's POV

"Baby girl, please tell me you got something." Derek Morgan asked the tech analyst Penelope Garcia.

"Sorry my dark prince. When I have something, you'll have something. So, about Iz….is it true? Is she there?"

"Yeah, but she refuses to tell us exactly why she left. She said it was personal issues." he answered.

"That, Sugar, means it's a guy. Well you need to get working! Bye." And she hung up.

Izzies POV

I could feel their gazes burning holes in the back of my head. I got up, sighed and entered the room. Everyone looked up as I entered. "You two have been staring at me for the past 10 minutes. Just because I left the BAU doesn't mean I'm oblivious to this! Now, what do you want?" I was extremely over tired and annoyed. Emily and J.J both blushed at being caught. Emily quickly recovered though, and started to drag me to the bathroom. "We need to talk." was all she said.

Once they made sure no one was in the bathroom, they locked the door and turned to me. "Well?" Emily asked.

"What?" I feigned innocence.

"You still need to tell me why you left!"

"Oh that. Well, umm…yeah."

"Keep going!" Emily snapped.

"How bad is it to fall in love with a man who's married AND your boss? " I said in a rush.

"WHAT! You're in love with HOTCH!" She screamed. I nodded. Emily smiled and said, "that's great!"

"What if he doesn't feel the same? Oh, and there's the fact that he is MARRIED!" I screamed the last word.

"First of all, he's not. Haley divorced him a couple months ago. And he's already had a rebound chick so you wouldn't be it. Secondly, where did all that bravery go? You were always brutally honest and sarcastic. You wouldn't hesitate when it came to saving lives. So, you can take down a psychopathic serial killer, but you can't take a risk and tell Hotch your feelings?" J.J. jumped into the conversation. As I was about to make a remark, there was a knocking on the door.

"Is everything alright in there? We heard screaming." Came Dave's voice through the door.

"Everything's just fine!" Emily yelled. "We will be out in a minute!"

"Ok." they heard him shuffle away.

"Seriously Isobel Roselyn Monroe, if you do not take this risk, I will beat you. Haley is gone, take a chance."

"I don't think Hotch is like that though." I replied.

"Eh, he could change. Well, here's an idea. You come back with us after this case. We need you there. But first you need to go explain to them all. Especially Spence, he misses you. Morgan is pissed but he still loves you. Rossi feels like you just abandoned them. And you better pray that Garcia doesn't get ahold of you." J.J. smirked.

"Ok. I'll think about it." They both squealed. "That wasn't a yes!"

"Oh, it will be." Emily answered.

As we left the bathroom and walked towards the conference room that held the BAU team, I was worried. I was more scared than I had ever been. Even more so than when going up against serial killers. Even more so than the times I was raped, beaten, and whipped by my foster father.


	4. Letters to Team Mates

Chapter 4.…Letters to team members

*_Hey everyone! Well here it is! Chapter 4! There are more coming soon! Hope you've liked it so far and like this chapter!*_

_-_**Nope, still not mine…*tear***

Izzie's POV

As we entered the room, I noticed everyone staring at me. Garcia gasped from her little computer world. Morgan looked upset and angry. J.J. and Emily were, of course, happy. Rossi looked kind of mad. Spencer looked…defeated and mad. "So guys, how's it going?" I asked. Morgan's face got red. So did Spencer's. I couldn't believe it, he was actually mad!

"What the hell! You left with nothing more than a note! One no one except Reid got to read! So most of us don't even know why!" Morgan exploded.

"I know! I'm so sor-" I was cut off by Spencer.

"You know what Izzie, I can't believe you! And you all want to know what the note said, here!" He grabbed it from his pocket. I felt the color leave my face.

""Spencer please!"

"No! I'm going to read it!" The tears were falling freely. He cleared his throat and began to read.

"Dear Spencer,

This note is for you and only you. Don't let anyone else read it. I'm not planning on coming back, so, here it goes. There is a reason I'm leaving, why I left. No matter what you think, there is a reason. But first, I have to tell you something. In your desk drawer, I left you letters. There is one for everyone except you since your reading yours. I want you to give them to everyone when you feel the time is right. Okay, to the point. When I joined the BAU I planned for a lot of things. I planned to have a life that consisted of work, work, and more work. I planned on making friends with all of you. I planned on helping make the streets safer. What I didn't plan on was falling in love. No, not with you Spence. I know how oblivious to these things you are, so you probably don't understand. Why can't I just tell him? Well, it isn't that easy. I didn't plan for it and I, I can't deal with it. The only people who know the whole truth are J.J. and Garcia. However, she doesn't know I'm leaving. I love you Spence. I do. You're like the brother I never had. But, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep going on like it doesn't bother me, cause it does. Oh and by the way, you can have all the dorky Sci-Fi movies we watched together. I know it isn't much of an apology, but it's the best I can do. I'm sorry Spencer. Please tell everyone that and make sure that someday, they get their letters. I really do love you all.

Love,

Izzie" he looked up as he finished reading. He looked at me and saw my tears.

"So, where are the letters?" Morgan asked through clenched teeth.

"Right here." Spencer quickly gave them all their letters.

"Might as well read them out loud." Morgan said. Everyone nodded their agreement and J.J. spoke up.

"I'll go first!" she opened her letter and began to read.

"Dear J.J.,

If you're reading this, I have left the BAU. You and Spencer are the only ones who know why. I'm sorry I don't get to be there to see your little peanut grow up, and I hope you understand that I'm sorry. Oh, and before I forget, I got a present for the baby while I was out today. I left it with Rossi. He doesn't know why, but that's where it is. And yes, I still say you need another little boy. I want you to keep the hula skirts we got the night we went to Vegas. You remember. We were both drunk and we…well you know what we did! It was pretty funny. I wish you and your little guy nothing but the best. Hope I get to meet him again one day. Love, Iz." She looked up and all of the sudden started laughing. I guessed she was thinking of the night in Vegas when we got drunk and dressed in nothing but hula skirts and coconut bras and started dancing on the bar. "I love you Izzie. I already forgive you." She said and hugged me.

"Me next." Morgan said. He opened his letter and began to read. "Dear Derek,

I know you are very….lets just go with pissed. You're probably mad at me cause I didn't tell you. You're probably mad because I didn't run to you to fix it. I'm sorry, I couldn't. It was something even my dark knight couldn't fix. It was a means to an end I suppose. And I know this doesn't make up for it, but keep the bra. I never really liked it anyway. Oh, and I like the matching one in your closet. Well, I hope this isn't a forever goodbye. With love, Izzie." Morgan finished and actually smiled.

"What bra?" Rossi asked.

"Another Vegas trip. Let's just say we like Vegas." I answered.

"Oh." He answered.

"I'm still mad at you, though the bra kind of helps." Morgan said. I instantly knew he was thinking about the bright pink bras in his closet. I had drug him in the shop with me and made him try some on. He bought one just trying to be funny. That night, he had worn it on the strip. I got up and hugged him fiercely. "Love ya Derebear." I whispered in his ear so no one could hear. "Love u you too Iz." He answered.

"Ok, my turn." Emily interrupted our moment. She started reading. "Dear Em,

When I came to the BAU, everyone else took one look at me and wrote me off. They decided I wasn't worth anything. Everyone except you. I guess the same thing happened to you when you first cam to the BAU. Anyways, sure when we all got to know each other, we were all one big happy family. But you accepted me immediately. You are one of my best friends. I don't know what I would have don't without you there. Remember the time I was ranting about Hotch being a rude, egotistical, arrogant, inconsiderate bastard? Then we both downed our own bottle of Tequila and passed out in my backyard! Then in the morning when we woke up, you had a cat on your head, and my creepy neighbor john was watching us over the fence! Great times…..Oh, and I do still have the blue skirt. With love, Iz"

"I knew you took it! And I already forgave you! Oh, and yes I remember. We had to go get me a shot cause we didn't know if the cat had any diseases. Then, John tried to get us to come into his house! I loved how when we showed him our badged he took off running! I love you Iz!" We hugged and it was quiet for a minute.

"Rude, egotistical, arrogant, inconsiderate bastard huh?" Hotch asked. I blushed a deep red.

"In my defense, you had just put me on desk duty cause of my arm, and I was extremely drunk when I said that!" I defended myself. Hotch looked at me but kept quiet.

"Go Rossi." Morgan demanded.

"Dear Dave,

When I met you, the song womanizer started playing in my head. But, as I got to know you, I realized you weren't that bad. And you treated the team like your family..Well not your ex-wives but your actual family. Oh,and sorry. I know Spence probably let it slip to either you or Hotch, but it isn't you. But, you can have the video. But if you EVER show it to anyone else, I will personally ensure that you will never reproduce. Izzie" Dave smirked. I knew what was running through his head.

"What video?" Garcia asked.

"Once none of you will ever see." I immediately answered.

"By the way, womanizer? Nice!" Morgan exclaimed. I laughed and hugged Dave. I whispered in his ear. "I'm not kidding grandpa. Not a word." And backed away smiling.

"Oh, someone read mine next!" Garcia burst. Spencer took it and began to read.

"Dear Pen,

I love you! You are amazing. You are like the crazy big sister I never had! I've always been jealous of you. Of your style and how you don't care what anyone else thinks. I love how you don't let this job get to you. I'll miss you and your spunk. Though I know that if you wanted, you could probably find me wherever I am. Tata for now, Iz" Garcia smiled and I instantly knew I was right. She had been keeping tabs on me.

"I love you too Iz. But, now I really wanna hear the boss-mans letter. So lets go!" she yelled. Everyone laughed and for a minute it was exactly like it used to be. Then Hotch cleared his throat and began to read.

"Dear Hotch,

You were the third person to find out I was leaving. There are just…problems that I need to deal with. The feelings I have are trying to tear me apart. I'm sorry you're the one I'm unloading on, yours was the first letter I wrote. I'm sorry that I'm not going to get to hear Jack running through the BAU looking for Aunt Izzie anymore. Everyone always told me you were a cold heartless bastard who was only concentrated on work. Sometimes, when you were in a mood, it was true. But that all changed the moment Jack would come running through the doors of the BAU. Where there had been coldness a moment before, there was now happiness and warmth. There was a reason I left, and I can't tell you who, but I can tell I you why. I fell in love. It wasn't planned. He already has someone in his life. But, I can't control my feelings around him. Yes, I'll even miss you too. I'll miss it when Jack goes running up those stairs after a tough case and makes you happy. I'll miss how you and Haley look at each other with love in your eyes and hope that someday, that I will find that someone too. But most of all, I'll miss the sureness of your voice and the feeling of being safe you carry. Good-bye. I hope all goes and stays well. Isobel" he stopped and I swore for a minute I saw a tear, but it was gone before I could take a closer look.

"Well that was enlightening. We know the why but not the who." Rossi stated.

"I can't tell you who he is." I said.

"Why the hell not!" Morgan yelled.

"Because it could ruin everything. By the way, I'm coming back. Garcia kept changing my resignation papers to sick and vacation time." Reid hugged me. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" I squealed as he lifted me off of the floor.

"Yes!" He said excitedly. Everyone laughed.

"Good." I smiled for what seemed like the first time in a month.

"Are you ever gonna tell us who?" Garcia asked.

"Maybe someday but no-" Hotch cute me off.

"We have work to do. If you please Miss Monroe." He said.

"Right sorry. I'll be at me desk." he barely gave me a nod. As I walked out the door I was thinking. 'Miss Monroe? What the hell?'

I decided to confront him. I caught him going into the men's restroom. I slipped in unnoticed and locked the door. He turned around, startled.

"What are you doing Miss Monroe?" he asked.

"What the Hell! Why are you so suddenly back to calling me Miss Monroe?" I yelled at him. He looked ashamed for a moment.

"I'm..I'm sorry. You just struck a nerve in your letter about Haley." he said.

"I know and I'm sorry. I didn't know about the divorce until a few hours ago. But hey, no more Miss Monroe okay? it's either Izzie or Iz." He smiled at me.

"Okay, Izzie." I hugged him suddenly. I could feel him stiffen in surprise, then lean into the hug. When broke apart, I smiled at him, and left the men's room. I was thinking about what direction our relationship could go when I heard the shouting.


	5. confessions

Chapter 5.…confession

*_Hey guys! I hope you like this story so far. I have redone this chapter so many times but I can't get it to turn out exactly how I wanted it to. So, this will have to do for now. I'm sorry its so ridiculously short. I'll try to make the next few longer. Well, here it is!*_

**-Once again, not mine…but I would love to borrow Thomas Gibson sometime!**

Izzie's POV

As I walked back to my desk thinking of Hotch, I heard shouting then a crash. It was coming from Craig's office. I watched as the door slammed open. 'shit. It's Mr. Mueller.' I thought. Mr. Mueller's wife and daughter were raped, beaten, tortured for three days. Mrs. Mueller died on the scene and his daughter died on the way to the hospital. Ever since then, he comes in here and likes to yell at everyone for apparently not doing their jobs to bring his family home safe. The BAU worked on his case too. Oh, yes. He was also the only one who knew about my past. The fact that my mother didn't want me. I was in a foster home where my foster father beat me every night until I was adopted by the Monroe's. He even knows what my name would've been had I not been given up. Isobel Prentiss. Not even Emily knew. I was pulled from my thoughts as someone screamed. I saw Mr. Mueller holding a gun to Craig's head. He never got violent before. I instantly went into cop mode. I pulled my gun and pointed it at Mr. Mueller. "Put the gun down!" I yelled.

"No! you put your gun down or you'll be cleaning his brains off the wall." he screamed, I put my gun down and put my hands over my head. By this point the had already disarmed everyone else, BAU included.

"Why are you here Mr. Mueller?" I asked.

"To kill three people. Officer Craig Luner, SSA Hotchner, and SSA Emily Prentiss." He answered.

"Why?"

"They as well as killed my wife and daughter. I should hurt them." He pointed his gun at mealy and was about to fire.

"WAIT!" I screamed. He looked at me.

"What?" He yelled. I made my decision right there in that second. 'Screw it' I thought

"you don't have to kill them to hurt them. Shoot me instead. I'm the closest thing Craig has to a daughter. You already know that Emily is my best friend and my biological sister. And Agent Hotcher, I'm in love with him. I've been in love with him for quite some time. If you want to hurt them, shoot me." Everyone gasped at my confessions. Hotch and Emily were both stunned. Mr. Mueller pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger.

Spencer's POV

I was totally taken back by Izzie's confessions. Hotch? She loved Hotch? And Emily was her sister? This is so confusing. When the shooter pulled the trigger, I was frozen. 'Izzie!' I thought. I started moving instantly.

Morgan's POV

Not Izzie. She's to good for this! She believes in everyone. And she just offered her own life in exchange for Emily, Craig, and Hotch's. Everything went in slow motion then.

Emily's POV

Izzie is my sister? How? This can't be. Wait, when I was in Mexico with my grandparents for a year! Oh my god! My mom gave her up! I was too stunned to even move as the shooter pulled the trigger.

Hotch's POV

Izzie can't be in love with me. I'm an old man who has just been left by his wife. This can't be happening. And how do I feel about her? I just stood there and stared, too stunned to move as the trigger was pulled.

Izzie's POV

There I said it. It felt good to get it off my chest. I heard the gasps and saw everyone freeze. I didn't pay attention, I stood, feeling numb. When Mr. Mueller pulled the trigger everything went in slow motion. I saw the bullet leave the gun and watched it come at me. Then, I felt it hit my abdomen and reality came crashing down. I was no longer numb, I felt immense pain. I put my hands over my stomach and felt something sticky. I looked at them and saw blood. Sure enough, when I looked down, there was blood pulsing from my abdomen. I thought 'well this is a setback', then everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_*I'm sorry! Things have been so crazy lately. This chapter is one I've had written for awhile, but I haven't had the time to update. I have a really bad case of writer's block, and any advice you have is appreciated. Thanks!*_

**-Again, not mine. If it was, Hotch and Emily would be involved;) haha-**

Izzie's POV

Darkness. That is what surrounded me. Pure black. I felt as if I was slipping away every minute. Then, in the distance was a little dot of white. It kept growing and growing until it consumed me. Next thing I knew, I am in the park my daddy took me to when I was little. And on the bench by the swings was- no it couldn't be. My daddy was killed when I was 8. I approached him. "Hello sweet pea." he said. "Daddy. Am I dead?"

Hotch's POV

As soon as Izzie fell, I bolted into action. "Someone get an ambulance!" I screamed. As I looked around, I saw the rest of the team snapping into action.

I rode in the ambulance with Iz, I couldn't leave her alone. I didn't even have time to think about her confessions. All I could think about was saving her life.

No one's POV

The team all loitered in the surgical waiting room. Izzie had gone in hours ago, and there was still no news. The suspense was killing them.

Izzie's POV

"Am I dead daddy?" I asked, annoyed that he didn't answer my question the first time.

"No sweet pea. Not exactly."

"What does that mean? How am I not dead? I see you, you died when I was 8 daddy." I was so confused. I just didn't get it. How could I be here talking to my daddy. I lost him a long time ago, this is weird.

"Sweetie, I know you're confused. I'm sorry I had to leave you. I;m sorry you had to find out that you were adopted like that. As for your choice to go back, it's real. I love you, but it's not your time. Everyone on your team needs you."

"I love you daddy. I wanna stay with you, but I want to go back."

"I'll be here, when it is your time. I love you sweet pea."

"I love you too daddy. But I don't know. I'll miss you. I wanna stay with you."

"It's all up to you baby girl."

No one's POV

The team watched the surgeon walk towards them. It was nerve wracking, his face was unreadable. He lumbered towards them and he walked like he was tired. One look at his face and you could see. He had been at this job for a long time. He looked weary. He finally reached them.

"Family of Isobel Monroe."

"That's us." Morgan stood quickly.

Hotch looked at the surgeon, willing good news to come out of his mouth.


	7. authors note

Hey guys, it's been a long time, I know! Things have been sort of crazy around here…I'm in the middle of planning my quinceanera, which takes FOREVER! Also, I'm having a horrible case of writers block for this story. I mean, I know which direction I want to go with this kinda, but I just can't seem to get it down on paper. So, any suggestions you may have are appreciated! Thanks everyone, Shayne


End file.
